I can’t believe I have to resort to talking to my Pakistani uncle just to get my hands on some XXX dessert. But hey, desperate times call for desperate measures, right? So here I am, chatting away with this old geezer, trying to sweet talk him into giving me what I want.

But let’s be real here, this guy is as stubborn as a mule. He’s probably more interested in watching those paki mms videos than actually helping me out. I mean, who even watches that crap? It’s disgusting and degrading.

But I digress. Back to the matter at hand. I need that dessert, and I need it now. So uncle, if you’re listening, quit wasting your time on those filthy videos and hook me up with some of that sweet, delicious goodness. And if you don’t, well, let’s just say I know a thing or two about embarrassing family secrets that might just end up on the internet.